We don't get a manual on How To Do Relationships
There is no software program to upload to our brains. No wonder that despite our best hopes, intentions, and efforts we find ourselves frustrated with family and friends, repeating the same patterns that don't get us the love and connection for which we long. No wonder the Relationships Section at the bookstore is huge! People have been trying to figure this out for years. You don't have time to read all the books, but maybe you are ready to learn and work on it with some direct support.
I have been studying relationships formally and informally for over almost 20 years. I feel fortunate to have trained with leaders in the field. and been informed by various approaches to attachment, boundaries, conflict resolution, non-violent and assertive communication. First, I maintain a safe and non-judgemental space to explore and unpack what has not been working for you. There may be times that I ask questions and reflect observations that can help you make connections or see things from a different perspective. As it applies, I'll introduce tangible concepts, tools, and skills to help you make the changes you want to see. One could describe my approach like that of a teacher and coach who is curious, supportive, and believes in a person's ability to change their life and love patterns.
Perhaps you have been frustrated or dissatisfied with your friendships, coworkers, and family members and would like to find better ways to stand up for yourself but are afraid of the repercussions. Maybe you don't want to do anything directly with the relationship but you do want to change how the relationship impacts you and your reactions. Betrayal, manipulation, passive-aggressive behavior, belittling, indifference, codependency--any of these things could be part of your relationships. You don't have to continue those patterns or let the fear or residual hurt affect your heart's ability to trust and love again. If you are the person on the other side who has broken trust and is trying to become a trustworthy person again--there is a place for you too!
Your relationship to yourself is the most important because it effects all of the others. I often work with people that want to become the best versions of themselves and not repeat the things they saw in their family growing up. Sometimes the obstacles to our best intentions are shame/guilt, low self-worth, or a lack of knowledge. You can't do better until you know better.
"How to avoid falling for a jerk"
I am a certified facilitator of this program and draw from the resources curated by Love Thinks. (Learn more here). I love their tag line, "how to follow your heart without loosing your mind." Based on years of research across the field of relationship studies, this is an approach to help take the guess work out of relationships and dating. It's based on the mission to empower individual growth and equip relationships based on understanding a basic Relationship Attachment Model (R.A.M.) that can help individuals understand their relationships and make informed choices rather than rolling the dice with trust and emotional investments. If you've ever felt like you wanted a relationship boot camp or a relationship recovery program, this may be something for you.
more info to come